Bring your own ear buds on the plane. Even better, noise reducing headphones if you have them.
Do take the Heathrow Express from the airport. Easy.
Do NOT take the tube from Paddington into London if you are carrying luggage, unless you’re the type that enjoys lugging 50 lb bags up and down multiple flights of stairs. I’ve found I do not enjoy this. Take the bus instead.
Buy an Oyster card. These things are BRILLIANT. Use it to enjoy the best public transportation system EVER.
Don’t smile at or look people in the eye on the tube. And don’t discuss anything above a whisper.
Be sure to get a creme brulee latte from Costa Coffee. Mmm Mm Good! Don’t worry if you just passed one. There will be another along in about 50 feet. Between two Starbucks.
It will take longer to get somewhere than you think.
Do not expect folks who are waiting to enter the train/lift to wait politely for you to get out first.
No matter how cold it is outside, you’ll be sweating on the tube platform.
Do take an open topped bus tour and river tour. The laughs you get off the witty guides alone will be worth the trip.
Do not try to do everything. You’ll wear yourself out. Take some time to just stroll aimlessly and soak it up. Go somewhere random.
Do go to an open air market like Portobello Road in Notting Hill. It’s fun.
If you time your visit to St. Paul’s at the opening at 8:30 am, don’t expect to be let into the upper galleries until 9:30 am. Do expect to have a cardiac event as you climb the stairs.
Revel in any sunny day you get.
Americans, ask for the bill if you are ready to leave a restaurant. They are waiting for you to ask before they bring it.
Do not ask your friend with the long blond hair to tilt her head and translate some french on the mural behind her if there is a votive candle on the table. Not a good idea.
Carry a mini tube map at all times.
Carry an umbrella at all times.
Sit down somewhere cozy and enjoy a lovely cream tea. (Extra good on a blustery day!)
Don’t ask anyone who is younger than 30 to take your picture. Yikes.
DO NOT, repeat, DO NOT try to hop a tube train that looks like it might be closing up soon. Especially while holding a hot coffee. I cannot emphasize this enough.
Keep to the left.
Don’t miss Evensong at Westminster Abbey. It’s soul stirring, free, and open to all worshipers.
Apparently, black tights are a perfectly acceptable substitute for trousers amongst the London twenty-somethings.Yes, I said tights. By themselves.
Enjoy just people watching. (At your own risk. See no. 24)
Really look around to find the answer before you ask someone.
Do visit Oxford if possible.
Smile and say hello before asking anything.
Look RIGHT. Then left. Then right.
Don’t expect to visit RyanTown during the week. Bummer!
Do not jaywalk unless you absolutely positively sure you know what you are doing.
Allow lots of time to browse at Liberty’s beautiful craft/fabric and stationery section.
Make sure your plug adapters are polarized on the US side (with one hole thingy wider than the other hole thingy).
Go to the box office to get theater tickets as soon as you are able.
Do go to a theater performance — any show. It’s a great experience.
Do not expect to get your VAT money back easily. I think the process is designed to weed out the less determined.
Food in London is fabulous. I enjoyed every meal we had, both cheap and pricey. So give no credit to the old rep.
Have your Oyster card in hand and not in the bottom of your voluminous purse when you leave the tube station — you have to swipe again to get out.
Mind the gap.
Try not to be too embarrassed that you don’t know all the rules that natives have had their lifetime to learn. Or at least longer than 5 days.
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